As if you didn’t have enough on your plate while interviewing or at work, here is an article for phrases you should avoid. Often we can make simple mistakes while speaking on the spot, so this is a great article from Mashable.com giving you a heads up on how these phrases could make you sound less professional. Enjoy!
-Worlco

9 Phrases That Make You Sound Less Experienced Than You Are

When I started my first job, I was the youngest person in my organization. No, really. Although I could legally drink (barely), every single one of my 300-or-so co-workers was older and more experienced than I was.

I felt like the low woman on the totem pole — and worse, I probably acted like it. (Exhibit A: My email signature was hot pink and in Lucida Calligraphy font.)

But looking back, I shouldn't have let it affect me so much. Here's what I know now: It doesn't matter how much experience (or grey hair) you have compared to everyone else. You were hired to do a job and to work together with the people around you. So, the more you can position yourself as an equal, the more you'll be treated like one. While you shouldn't go to the other end of the spectrum and act like you're more important than the rest of your team, you should never feel afraid to present yourself confidently as a peer. (Oh, and this is true whether you're in your first job or joining the ranks of upper management.)

How do you do that? Here are a few commonly used words and phrases you want to avoid since they instantly make you sound more inexperienced — plus what to say instead to ensure you come across as the capable, competent professional you are.

1. "I don't know"

You certainly don't need to have all the answers all the time. None of us do. But answering your co-workers' questions with "I don't know" (and a blank stare) can make you look like you're not up to the job. Muse writer Sara McCord offers some great alternatives in this article, such as offering up what you do know ("Well, I can tell you that the report went to the printer on Friday") or responding, "That's exactly the question I'm looking to answer." Or, if you know you can get the information from someone else, try "Let's loop Devante in to confirm."

2. "I have to ask my boss"

It doesn't matter what level you're at in your career, there are certain things you're going to have to run by your boss. (Even CEOs have to ask the board for approval on important matters.) But that doesn't mean you have to end every conversation letting others know that you're not the one who can make the final decision.

Instead, try, "This all sounds great — let me just run our conversation by a couple people on the team before moving ahead." You'll sound like a thoughtful collaborator, rather than the lowly subordinate.

3. "Is that OK?"

When you do have to run something by your boss? Skip this line, which sounds like you have no idea if your recommendation is a good one or not, and use something like: "Let me know by Friday whether I should proceed."

4. "I am the [insert junior-level job title here]"

Here's a secret — if you have a not-so-impressive job title (and we've all had 'em), you don't have to broadcast it to everyone you work with, particularly if you're reaching out to potential clients or partners who are higher up than you are. I

In your next cold outreach email, trade "I'm the Jr. Marketing Assistant at Monster Co," for, "I work in Marketing at Monster Co, and I'm reaching out because…" It's still honest, but it makes you sound a bit more experienced.

5. "Very," "insanely," "extremely"

It's Professional Writing 101 to remove unnecessary adverbs from your language, not only because we all want shorter emails, but because these additional words tend to add emotion into what should be straightforward, fact-based communication. Quick: Which sounds like it came from a calm, cool professional: "I'm incredibly eager to get started, but I'm insanely busy this week — could we aim for next week when things will be way calmer?" or, "I'm eager to get started, but booked this week. Could we aim for next?"

6. "Hi, I'm Julie"

In a social setting, it's perfectly fine (in fact, expected) that you'll introduce yourself by first name only. But in a professional or networking setting, it can make you sound unsure of yourself, like you're someone who just happened to walk into the room, rather than someone who was invited to be there. Instead, share your full name and why you're there: "I'm Julie Walker, from the Marketing team."

7. "I" and "me"

As Aja Frost reported in this article: "Reducing your use of the word 'I' can actually make people view you as more powerful and confident... a psychologist from the University of Texas who analyzes how people talk for hidden insight, found that whoever uses the word 'I' more in a conversation usually has a lower social status."

Consider these two statements: "I would be so grateful if you would consider meeting with me next month. I'm very interested in your work, and I would love to meet you in person," and "Would you be available for a meeting next month? It would be great to learn more about your work and meet in person." The former veers into fangirl territory; the latter sounds like one accomplished professional addressing another.

8. "I'm available at whatever time is convenient for you"

Really, are you? If the person you'd like to meet with wrote back and said that 5:30 AM on a Tuesday morning was convenient, I'm pretty sure you'd disagree. (And even if you didn't, you'd look like you have nothing going on in your professional life.)

Try "Tuesday and Thursday afternoons work well, though I'm happy to be flexible," which sounds similarly agreeable, but also shows that you have an important schedule of your own.

9. "I hope to hear from you soon!"

Ending your emails hoping and praying that you'll hear from your recipient makes it sound like you think there's a good chance you won't. Instead, project confidence that the conversation will continue, with something like, "I look forward to discussing," or "I look forward to hearing from you."

Full article here!

5 habits that can turn interviewers against you

Interviews can be intimidating; your career depends on it. The past few weeks our blog has given great advice on how to help with interviews and this is something you don’t want to miss! Mashable.com has an article about what habits can ruin an interview...make sure you avoid these at all costs! Enjoy!
-Worlco

5 habits that can turn interviewers against you

Having spent the last decade recruiting, I've had many a conversation with hiring managers after a candidate exits the interview. And, while I always hope for exceptional feedback, sometimes the news is not so glowing.

Sometimes, the candidate has done something so annoying to the interviewer that, at best, she is now questioning her interest in keeping this person in the running.

What are the things that drive interviewers the most crazy? Listen and learn.

1. You arrive super early

Everybody knows that you're an idiot if you show up late for an interview. It's completely disrespectful of the interviewer's time.

But showing up insanely early is also going to make you look like a jerk. Why? Because, when you arrive more than five or 10 minutes before your meeting, you're putting immediate pressure on the interviewer to drop whatever she may be wrapping up and deal with you. Or, she's going to start the interview feeling guilty because she knows she just left you sitting in the lobby for 20 minutes.

A secondary problem with showing up early is that it says, "Hi, I have absolutely nothing else going on in my life, so I'll just park it here in your company lobby." You don't want that. If you arrive super early, hang in the parking lot or a nearby coffee shop until just a few minutes before your scheduled time.

2. You're so over-rehearsed that you act like a robot

Once again, we all know not to show up to an interview completely unprepared.

Fewer of us, however, realize that it's entirely possible to arrive over-prepared. Are you someone who thinks through every possible question that you suspect might be asked, writes out verbatim "best answers," and then practices them in the mirror (or with a friend) until you're beyond exhausted?

You might think you're doing yourself a solid, but what you're actually doing is putting yourself at risk for coming across as robotic or, worse, disinterested.

When you're hyper-prepared and hanging on the edge of your seat waiting for certain questions for which you've prepared to be asked, you will likely have a very hard time engaging in genuine conversation with the interviewer.

And interviewers don't tend to hire detached people who can't seem to have a genuine conversation. Certainly walk in prepared, but force yourself to not memorize or over-rehearse the practice questions.

3. You head into the TMI zone

Is your underwear riding up your rear end as you sit in that interview? Did you totally run a red light (and nearly sideswipe a school bus) so that you could be on time? Did your husband lose $15,000 at a craps table in Vegas last weekend? How interesting — yet all completely off-limits conversation topics while you're in the interview.

Even if you're interviewing for a role within the most free-wheeling, fun-loving organization, the fact remains that you are in an interview. Never, ever get wooed into believing that the casual nature of the environment frees you to enter the TMI zone.

Be friendly and conversational, for sure. You want this crew to feel that you'll fit in around the joint. Just never, and I mean do not ever, cross the line into TMI. When in doubt, leave it out.

4. You're a clear and obvious WIIFM

Guess what interviewers want to know when they meet with you? First and foremost, they want to know what you can do for them. What can you do to make that company money, improve businesses processes, grow the organization and, importantly, make their lives easier?

That said, when you bust out with an immediate litany of WIIFM (what's in it for me?) questions, you look both arrogant and, frankly, unappealing.

Of course you want to know what the benefits are, how much vacation you get, and if you get a cell phone, company car, and corner office. But in the early interview stages, all the hiring managers and HR people really care about is what you can do for them. This is a business they are running, not a club.

Making you happy will be important if they want you, but you're not even going to get to that stage if you make your list of demands clear too early.

5. You don't say "thank you"

I'm not just talking about the after-interview thank you note here. Surely, sending an immediate thank you out to each person with whom you've met is critical. But it's also super important to thank the interviewer enthusiastically before you even part ways.

Certainly, it can be stressful and exhausting to shuttle through hours of interviewing at a company, to the point it all starts feeling like a bit of a blur. But if you really want this job, you need to stay focused and energized, and you absolutely must end strong. A strong, genuine,

"Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me — it was great to meet you" will go a long way.

"Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me — it was great to meet you" will go a long way.

Interviewing can be among the most stressful things we do as adults, especially when we need the job badly. It's definitely never a breeze. But keeping a cool head, arriving prepared to engage in conversation, and staying focused on the value you can bring to that organization is going to help you make it through with flying colors. People hire people, not robots, not jerks, and not people who don't value their time.

Keep this top of mind as you march forth and conquer.

Full article here!

How to eloquently explain gaps on a resume

Like the glaring Fs on the report card of the adult world, resume gaps are viewed as imperfections on our work record. It happens to the best of us. One day you're working, and the next day you're sitting at home wondering, "What's next?"

Maybe your gap is due to layoffs, or perhaps you decided you couldn't take a certain aspect of your job anymore. Either way, they can be tough both while you're in them and when you have to explain them to an employer. But if you use your time between jobs wisely, it can make you a more competitive candidate.  

Why you've got to be honest

It can be tempting to embellish your resume just a bit to scrub away those periods of time when you were out of work. You may try to rationalize it by telling yourself that it was only a few months, or that the recruiter will never find out. But in reality, recruiters can and often do find out — which burns a bridge for you immediately. Just play it safe and tell the truth.

Remember, you're interviewing for more than just a paycheck. You’re interviewing for a lasting relationship with an employer; a relationship that should be built on trust from both parties. Start out the relationship by lying, and it probably won’t go much further than chatting with the recruiter.

Besides, if you tell the truth to your advantage, you may be able to make those resume gaps work for you.

How gaps can work to your advantage

Your resume gaps aren't the first ones employers have seen, and they don't mean you're out of the running — unless you handle them poorly. Recruiters don't ask you about gaps because they're terrible — they simply want to know what you were doing so they can get a more complete picture of who you are as a candidate. 

So really, whether your gaps are glaring blemishes or points of interest is really up to you.

Think about it: Most professionals have likely hit a spot in their career when they felt like they needed to take a detour. Sometimes it takes a little time and effort to get from where you are to where you want to be. The key is to make that time out of work seem deliberate or welcomed.

Also, remember that many people intentionally plan to take extended time off after long periods of work. They're called sabbaticals, and they're actually pretty common. Treating your resume gap like a sabbatical gives the impression that you're in control of your time and your life — not living paycheck to paycheck.

Of course, to be able to treat a gap this way, you have to do a couple of things: 1) financially prepare for those inevitable gaps so you can afford to be thoughtful about your sabbatical time instead of desperately job hunting, and 2) actually use the time off for personal development — not a time to sit at home and relax (you can do that during your vacation time at your dream job). The ability to treat your gap as an opportunity to launch a new career, instead of a misfortune, will make you even more attractive to your recruiter.

How to strategically fill a resume gap

Start with the end in mind: The gap is what you make it. If you use the time to identify your real calling and ideal employer, being out of work could end up being the greatest thing to happen in your career. To avoid having another gap soon, be thoughtful about what your end goal will be.

Make a list of what you need: After you identify the goal, it will help to make a list of attributes and skills your target employer will want. Many companies are willing to do exploratory interviews with candidates to help them understand which qualities and skills they look for in employees. Then, when the company calls you back for an interview down the road, you've already set expectations about what you were doing during your resume gap: You were working to become their ideal candidate.

Once you’ve determined the type of training that will make you more hirable, go get it. This is where you make the difference between a constructive gap and a destructive gap. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Take classes and get training: In the next five years, there's projected to be a shortage of five million knowledge workers. And there are a lot of ways to make yourself one of those wanted five million. You can take classes online, at a university or college or enroll in a local technical program. Whether it's a planned set of courses or a deliberate self-designed curriculum, differentiating yourself through training is a strategic way to go after a new career, make yourself more attractive and fill a resume gap.
2. Freelance: You may end up not needing to explain your career gap to anyone. More than 53 million Americans currently freelance — and almost half use it as their primary income.  If there's something you're really passionate about and do well, consider trying out a freelancing career. If it doesn't work out, you’ll likely have a few projects to show for it — and technically, you won’t have a career gap to explain because you'll have had jobs.
3. Volunteer or intern: What you do doesn't have to make money. Experience is worth more than cash — three out of four human resource executives said the skills and experience acquired while volunteering make a job candidate more desirable. If your dream company has an opening for an internship in your dream department, check out the opportunity. If it's possible that you could move into a paid position after a couple of months, it might be a good way to get your foot in the door. Or, look for a philanthropic opportunity to give you experience in your desired field.
4. Travel: Use your gap as an opportunity to learn a new language or grasp another culture. Multilingual employees are able to process information more quickly than others and are predicted to become even more in-demand in the coming decade. Traveling is a great way to expand your worldview — which international companies will love. Plus, it's fun.

Being in between jobs can be disappointing and difficult to talk about with recruiters. Don't ever lie to cover up gaps or you may be ruining chances for good work relationships; instead, turn the situation into a highlight you're proud of. Show employers that you're a self-starter with initiative by finding out where you want to be and what you need in order to get there, and then by going out and getting it. Resume gaps can be the launch point of a new, more fulfilling career. It's up to you how you decide to construct and control that time.

You can find the article here!

3 ways to get the most out of an informational interview

It became clear to me very quickly when I was a recruiter that one of the most misunderstood facets of the interview process is the informational interview. All too often, I've had to be the bearer of bad news to friends who didn't quite understand what to expect from one.

"But, they don't schedule them with just anyone," they said. "As long as I impress the person, the company's going to create a job for me — I just know it!" To which I unfortunately had to reply, "They get scheduled more often than you might think."

Hiring managers do schedule them to build their pipelines for future positions down the road. They don't, however, conduct them because they're prepared to hire that person. While this dose of reality might come as a blow, there is a lot you can gain from the informational interview you've just scheduled.

Here are three things you can (and should) get out of an informal conversation with The Person In Charge.

1. Information you can use to decide if you actually want to work at that company someday

Informational interviews are exactly what the name indicates. They're informational. And because the stakes aren't quite as high, you should feel free to ask as many questions as you'd like — even if that means your "interview" becomes more like a conversation in which you find yourself interrupting the interviewer a bit (emphasis on a bit).

Typically, you should only be scheduling them with companies you're interested in working for someday. So, take the opportunity to confirm that you'd be really excited if they called you about a role that is just for you down the road. You might love the fact the office offers free lunch on Wednesdays, but this is a really great way to find out if actually working there is as awesome as that perk.

2. Details about when a job might open up for you (or not)

There's no gig waiting for you at the end of your informational interview, but that doesn't mean more roles aren't bubbling at the surface on the recruiter's end.

When my career was searching for great candidates, I was in more meetings about future roles than I was about our current openings. I generally knew three to four weeks in advance of a job being posted to our careers site. And when I conducted informational interviews with candidates, I didn't necessarily say, "We'll have something for you next week!" But, I was fairly upfront about when someone could expect to hear from me about a position I knew I'd have to start working on.

At this point, you already know to ask as many questions as you'd like in your informational interview. And while it might seem a bit presumptuous to ask about any future roles the hiring manager might be thinking of for you, think again. Recruiters don't have much time, and while these informal conversations are being scheduled fairly often, you're right in thinking that they're not just being scheduled with anyone.

3. A connection you didn't have before

Of course, the point of an informational interview is to get an "in" with a company you're super excited to (possibly) work for someday. However, it's no secret (at least anymore) that recruiters aren't shy. In fact, when it comes to sharing resumes with each other, hiring managers actually do it more often than you might think.

While the company you're interviewing with might not have a role for you right now, the person you speak with might know of something for you at another one that is just as cool. In fact, after getting to know you a bit, the Person In Charge might actually determine you'd be happier somewhere else. And if he or she knows of that somewhere else, don't be surprised if you find yourself hearing from him or her. That is, assuming you nail the informational interview, of course.

Although it can be a bummer to realize that the informational interview you've been prepping for probably won't yield immediate results, there are plenty of other reasons to schedule them — especially when it means you get to chat with someone at a company you've really admired for a long time. Once you've taken the time to understand what you can gain from taking a few minutes for a quick conversation with a recruiter, you'll quickly find that even without the promise of a job at the end of the tunnel, there's plenty that you stand to learn from these informal chats.

Find full article here!

How to respond to an email you forgot about

You’re going through your inbox, deciding which emails should be archived and which should be saved, and there is it: an email from a week ago (or even further out). Maybe it came in during an onslaught and this is the first time you’ve seen it; or perhaps, you remember thinking you’d come back to it — and then it fell off of your radar. Regardless, someone sent you an email, and you never responded.

Let’s get your first question out of the way: Do you still need to reply? While it’s tempting to blame it on your SPAM filter and pretend it never happened, the answer is yes — assuming the email comes from someone you know. (Naturally, I’m not suggesting you reply to every newsletter or cold email you receive.) According to Emily Post’s list of the “Top Ten Email Manners,” the number one rule of email is: “Always Respond.”

Here are four questions to ask yourself before you send back your reply:

1. It is worth saying why?

An excuse doesn’t make your lapse any better. In fact, it can backfire and make it seem like you think it’s no big deal. In other words, if you say, “I’m so sorry: I’ve just been so busy at work!” it won’t make your contact feel any better. But it could make him feel like responding to him is low on your list of priorities or like you think it’s OK to take 10 days to reply when things get hectic.

However, sharing something can soften the blow, because it reminds the other person that you’re human and we’ve all been there. For example, sometimes people will go weeks without getting back to me on Facebook or LinkedIn and after a “Please excuse my delay in response,” they’ll add that they “don’t sign into LinkedIn nearly as often as [they] should” or “never check Facebook messages.” Another example might be including that you went on an impromptu vacation and forgot to set an away message, or that you had a family emergency and lost track of emails sent while you were out of the office.

Including these humanizing details can make your lapse more relatable.

2. Do you answer the original question?

If it’s been more than a week since your contact sent his or her email, you can’t just get down right down to business. Because if you skip the apology, you risk her thinking that five (or more) day response times is how you do business.

Frankly, it doesn’t really matter what line you choose. You can go with  “I’m sorry for just getting back to you now” or “Apologies for the delay in response,” or anything in between. Then, per the point above, decide if it’s worth including one more line on the matter.

However, the next, essential step is that you move on and handle the matter at hand. 

Over-apologizing makes the missed email a bigger deal than it is, and it distracts from the real reason you’re writing the person back, which is to answer his or her email.

It looks like this: “Apologies for my delay in response. I’m just now catching up on emails from while I was vacation! As far as your questions regarding the upcoming event…” By getting to the matter at hand, you — and your contact — can move forward. After all, a brief apology and a well-thought-out answer to her inquiry will prove much more useful than a long apology and no concrete answer (yet again).

3. Is this particular email chain still relevant?

Of course, there are times when emails go an absurdly long time. You know the kind: You view it one morning while you’re making breakfast, forget about it by the time you get to the office, and are only reminded of it two months later when searching for something else.

If the request is fairly evergreen (e.g., someone asked you if you’d ever like to meet for coffee), you can write back apologizing for the delay and then share if you’re interested. However, if someone had asked for your notes on a letter that went out a month ago, she clearly doesn’t need your feedback anymore.

In this case, you have two options. The first is to reply, saying sorry for letting this fall off of your radar and offering future assistance. The second option, if let’s say, you realize you accidentally dodged an email from someone you have — or would like to have — a strong working relationship with is to fold this into a different email, or even a phone call. It can actually serve as a great “excuse” to reach out to someone.

4. What do you plan to do moving forward?

OK, this one is just for you. Because, while most people will overlook one missed response, you don’t want become someone who is known for being terrible with email. Or worse, look like someone who writes, “Apologies for the delay in response,” and then continues to be inconsistent.

So, remember that actions speak louder than words and set up a new system. It may mean being meticulous about scrolling through emails after time away from the office, or keeping a list of emails you open after business hours so that you’ll be sure to actually write back the next time you’re at your desk. Missing an email happens to everyone — just don’t let it become a habit

Find full article here!

4 Ways to Layout Your Resume!

4 better ways to lay out your resume, depending on your next career move

You've quantified your bullet points, you've curated your skills section, and you've proofread it from top to bottom. Sounds like your resume's all set to go, right?

Almost! There's actually one more step — and that's putting all the sections in the correct order. Like with everything job-search-related, this should be tailored to the position and your specific situation. To give you an idea of where to start, here are four great ways to organize your resume depending on where you are in your career.

1. For most of us

·         Summary Statement (optional)

·         Experience

·         Education

·         Skills and Certifications

This is where most people begin when it comes to organizing a resume. If you've had a lot of different relevant experiences, it might make sense to have a summary statement that helps tie it all together (here's what that looks like), but if it's all in the same field, it's not necessary. The section on professional organizations and community involvement is similarly optional.

The best reason for using this layout is that everything is where a recruiter would expect it to be, which means it's easier to find and skim your qualifications. And this almost always gives you at better shot at getting called in for an interview.

2. For recent grads

·         Education

·         Experience

·         Leadership

·         Awards and Activities (optional)

·         Skills

New grads are in a slightly unique position. While there are plenty of supposedly "entry-level" positions that require two to three years of experience, there are also many opportunities geared specifically toward recent graduates. With this in mind, it makes good sense to signal that you're new to full-time employment by keeping your education at the top.

With that said, you don't want to sell yourself short by not including your extracurricular activities. There are tons of transferable skills gained though leadership positions in clubs — and you need to make sure to highlight them in a separate section. Read this for a step-by-step guide on your post-college resume.

3. For career changers

·         Objective (optional)

·         Relevant Experience

·         Additional Experience

·         Professional Organizations / Community Involvement (optional)

·         Education

·         Skills and Certifications (option to move up)

As if changing careers isn't hard enough! The trickiest resumes to craft are ones that need to show how experience in one field is relevant and transferable to another. There are a few ways to do this effectively.

You can offer an objective that explains your career change and the strengths you would bring to your new field. (More on that here.) Or, you can split up your experience into "relevant" and "additional" in order to highlight specific experiences. (Pro tip: Instead of "Relevant Experience," label this section "Editorial Experience," "Sales Experience," or whatever makes sense for your new field.) Or, finally, if you have limited relevant experience, you can simply spell out your skills and certifications and place that section above your experience section as a way to drive that home.

4. For senior-level candidates

·         Summary Statement

·         Experience

·         Professional Organizations / Community Involvement (optional)

·         Education

·         Skills and Certifications

You'll notice that the senior-level resume looks an awful lot like the standard resume layout. You're not wrong; just because you're at a higher level doesn't mean you can get away with a convoluted format. How easy it is to skim your qualifications is important, no matter how far along you are in your career.

Of course, there are some differences. If you're applying for a senior-level position, you're usually in the clear for submitting a two-page resume. Also, with so much experience and a two-pager, it's absolutely necessary for you to have a summary statement at the very top. This isn't really negotiable anymore.

While you don't want to deviate too much from what's expected, you do want to personalize it a bit to your own experience and needs. As a starting point, give one of these layouts a whirl and go from there

Find full article here!

4 ways to help you get through a tough conversation

4 ways to help you get through a tough conversation without backing down

Have you ever gone into a tricky conversation with someone at work, determined to stick to your guns and make sure things go your way — only to leave that same conversation having promised away your weekends, sanity, and shoes?

How did that just happen? you wonder, as you shrink back to your desk to dream up words that rhyme with "backbone."

So, to help you out the next time someone makes an unreasonable request or pulls you into another equally tough conversation, here are a few pointers on how to remain firm and come out on top.

1. Know your deal-breakers

Before you go into the conversation, you have to know your deal-breakers — the things you absolutely won't compromise on. For example, giving up the weekend of your kids' birthday.Working late on date night. Taking the heat for something that didn't have anything to do with you.

Your deal-breakers will likely stem from your personal values — the things that are ingrained 10,000 feet down inside you; the things that, if you break or devalue them, will end up costing you happiness and self-worth.

These are the things you need to be crystal clear on, so you can confidently say, "Sorry, I can't do that" when the time comes.

Know your deal-breakers, then honor them.

2. Stay strong through the personal favor dilemma

It happens all the time: Your boss asks you to get involved in that new project — the one you already said you didn't have time to work on — because it would really help him out of a tight spot. Or, you're asked to take on more responsibility because it would mean so much to the requestor. Or, after resigning, you're asked to extend your notice period until things calm down a little, because it would make the transition easier for everyone on the team.

This is a tough situation, because if you say no to the personal favor, will your boss see you as someone who's unreliable or doesn't have his or her back?

Nobody likes to say no to someone who's asking for a personal favor — but keep in mind, this is your boss or manager, not your best friend or partner. And this is about work, not helping a friend through a crisis or being there to support a family member dealing with some bad news.

It's a tough call, but if you're truly going to stick to your guns, your response should be civil, professional, and absolute. Say that you understand what he or she needs, but due to your existing commitments, you're not in a position to contribute this time. Say that you wish you could help, but because of your current workload, you wouldn't be able to do the project justice right now. Or, you may even say that you're happy to find a way to help out — but only within your existing time constraints or commitments.

3. Make saying no a good thing

You're allowed to say no to a request that's unreasonable or downright unfair. The trick is to find a way to reframe it so that by saying no, it's clear to everyone that you're doing the right thing.

For instance, if your boss asks you to take on a time-consuming project on top of your existing work, explain that by spreading yourself that thin, you wouldn't be able to dedicate the necessary time or effort to either set of work. Instead, suggest that it might be worth it to pause the project while the team figures out the best, most efficient way to get the work done.

Or perhaps you've been asked to give up some of your personal time to stay late and do additional work. In this case, you could say that you'll pitch in where you can, but in your experience, working longer hours rarely results in great work. Then suggest looking at a few other approaches to find one that could benefit everyone involved.

In essence, this strategy takes what's being asked of you and turns it back on the requestor by saying, "Can I help you find a better way?"

4. Know your value

Remaining firm in tough conversations is much harder when you think that doing so makes you a bad person: If I turn down that request, I'm being really unhelpful. He'll hate me if I say no. If I stick to my guns, she'll think less of me.

Those all sound like reasonable things to think — until you realize that your value isn't determined by the quantity of requests you say yes to, but by the quality of your work.

Don't let a need to please others or a lack of confidence drive you to give up what matters. Sometimes, sticking to your guns in tough conversations comes down to one question: What would I do if I had nothing to prove and was already worthy of respect?

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